“Not all storms come to disrupt your life, some come to put you in the right path.”

Renee.

Welcome back!!

If you’re new here, Karibu sana to the UnScripted Sisterhood! My name is Renée and I am more than thrilled that you are here. To learn more about us, head over to our about page to do so!

In today’s post, I want to share with you the founding story of this community, of UnScripted and how it all came to be.

The back story

I grew up in a Christian home so one can say faith was ‘handed down’ to me till I made that choice for myself in class/grade 4 and been on this journey of faith ever since. That is not to say that it hasn’t been challenging – I fell along the way and nearly gave up- not once, but 4 times!!

The challenge started in class/grade 8 when my walk with God became a routine and being the person that I am, got fed up and just stopped praying and reading the word.

I became lukewarm and was ‘just there’- Nothing much was happening and I had zero communication with God. You can say I hit rock bottom.

The amazing thing with God is that he is a faithful God, even when we are faithless; and when we hit rock bottom, it is so that we realize that He is the rock at the bottom and has always been with us.

High School came and I made an intentional decision to return back to God which was not as easy as I thought. Lack of a renewed mind (Romans 12:2), and thinking that I needed to do more, be more, be better made me go round and round in circles.

Furthermore, my struggle with insecurity and self-esteem issues didn’t make it any better. I was insecure about my weight, the fact that I wore glasses and I just didn’t like the way I looked.

I would question God why he made me the way he did, give Him ‘recommendations’ and ‘suggestions’ on how he should have shaped my nose, put my eyes closer together on my face and whatnot. Because of the negative self-talk and the mentality I had, I couldn’t even look at my face in the mirror- every mirror I walked passed by, I would walk with my head down. I hated selfies and taking pictures cause I didn’t like how I looked.

The ‘best’ part of it all was that no one knew- I kept it all in and only Jesus and I knew. For 3 years (2015-17) I walked around ‘okay’, ‘fine’, ‘joyful’; living a lie and living in the bondage and stronghold of insecurity.

My friends would walk up to me, and ask me why I am so joyful and quite happy, tell me they want to have the same joy ( I am an extrovert and I am quite outgoing, love smiling, laughing, etc.) yet that wasn’t the case. On the outside I was happy but in the inside I was in bondage to insecurity. You can say I was living a life full of masks- a life of zero joy.

I finally reached my end and decided that it was enough.

I got sick and tired and reached out- first to my mum then to God. And hat day, God met me where I was at….

~For the remainder of the story, check out part II by clicking here.