“I always wanted to be the girl who would date immediately after high-school and be like, ‘Yes I have a boyfriend, but God definitely had different plans….
Singleness is defined as the state of being single; in other words, not being in a romantic relationship.
I don’t know about you, but back in high-school we would say ‘single like a pringle; or single like a mango seed’ cringey right!?
I don’t know about you but being single in high-school wasn’t a problem or an issue. I was very unconcerned about it, I had other things to worry about and there was definitely no time for it.
Fast forward to after high-school here I was wanting to date and thinking I was ready for it but as I said earlier God had other plans.
A Few of The Struggles I have had whilst being single..
One of the first struggles I had was that my plans are not God’s plans.
Because I wanted it and thought this is it, this is the right time I thought God was going to be in agreement. Here I am praying and praying and there’s the voice of God and my heart both saying something different.
Many at times it’s very easy to go with what feels right to us rather than what God has said we should do.
I had so many questions. There was such a battle within me as to whether I should do what is right and walk in obedience or follow my heart (the thing we always hear).
In the end I chose to obey God. Yes it didn’t make sense, yes I had questions but later I came to realize it was not God’s plan for me at that point. Which leads me to stating Isaiah 55:8-9.
Another struggle was focusing on the next season which is dating, and not paying attention to the season of singleness
You know as a single girl there are times where you think to yourself, ‘What it would be like to date?’
This definitely had me constantly questioning God and asking Him, ’When, Lord when?’
This began to expose that my heart was more fixated on that season than it was on God therefore leading to discontentment. I wasn’t seeing the beauty of singleness then and hadn’t understood the importance and beauty of that season.
Here are a few of the Highs of Singelness!
One, I definitely got to learn more about myself, got to do things that I love, learn more of what my values are and what I’m not willing to entertain.
Two, developing my relationship with God, which I loved the most. This season has allowed me to focus on God and learn things I wouldn’t otherwise have learnt if I wasn’t spending time with God.
If there’s any relationship in this world that is the most important is your relationship with God. In all honesty you cannot do life without Him. He is the reason that you live and you move (Acts 17:28). He’s there to guide you and lead you and show you the way if you will let Him.
Having written all this, it doesn’t mean that I don’t have those moments I would like to date or have developed feelings for a guy, no. But I have learnt to acknowledge those feelings but instead of acting out of impulse I’ve learnt and still continue to learn to submit those feelings to God in prayer and allow Him to lead me through His Holy Spirit.
Know that there is beauty and a purpose in your singleness season.
Nicole, an UnScripted Girl
Nicole Tikolo is a born-again believer who is passionate about Christ & Fashion.
She spends her free time designing and making custom made garments that are dripped with excellence and elegance, and she hopes to launch her fashion business soon!
She is also a follower of UnScripted, and the first guest blog post writer on our blog!
To know more about her, follow her on Instagram @nicoletikolo
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