“The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.”

~Steven Furtick

“We won’t be distracted by comparison if we are captivated with purpose.”

~Bob Goff.

“Her hair.”

“Her eyes.”

“Why don’t I have a body like hers? And why is mine so big and flabby?”

“When will this baby fat ever go? I don’t like my body.”

“Her Instagram feed just had to be this amazing. I mean, look at mine! And the number of likes she has?? Why don’t I get as many likes? Is there something wrong with me?”

“Her relationship with God. Why is it that amazing and mine literally feels like a struggle every.single.day?!”

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Does that sound familiar?

Do those statements ring a bell? And do they stir something up within you??

Today I wanna lay it all on the table, bring out this ‘skeleton in the closet’. Hit the nail on the head. 

If I may, have an ‘open heart surgery’ as we talk about this topic because this isn’t just a problem amongst young women & girls, it’s more of a disease that is eating away at our souls and destroying us from within.

Now, I don’t want to speak as if ‘I know it all’; my goal is to speak to you as an older sister, a friend, someone who has walked & lived through comparison and would like to be a voice of love and reason.

Comparison

We look at other girls, at other ladies and more often than not, the first thing we think of is ‘Why does she have that or look like that, and I don’t?’

When we scroll through social media, we leave the app feeling less than or not enough because of something we saw- a person’s feed, their post or the clothes they’ve worn.

When we see something that belongs to someone, it causes a certain feeling to stir within us. Perhaps, a feeling of inadequacy? A feeling of you are less than?…

And for sure, no one likes that feeling. No one would want to feel that way (and no one ought to feel that way) and so it makes you mad. It makes you upset BUT at the other person. Makes you angry that they have that which you don’t have, that they are doing better than you are, there life seems close to ‘perfect’.

But you do realize ‘she’; the ‘other girl’, isn’t the problem. The problem is you…

Insecurity

What you feel; that inadequacy, is insecurity. An insecurity that is somewhere hidden in your heart; that hasn’t been dealt with, and so when a certain event happens it triggers it and you begin to feel inadequate, which at its core is insecurity.

Insecure about how you look; the symmetry of your face, your skin complexion…

Insecure about your body, your legs, the love-handles on your waist, the flabbiness of your arms.

Insecure about your voice; be it a pitch higher or a pitch lower than what is presumed to be ‘normal’.

And society doesn’t make it any better with the standards that they set for us as women. What they define as ‘beautiful’ or ‘attractive’. When guys; society say they prefer a certain ‘shape’, ‘complexion’ of women to the other- it makes you feel worse.

But beloved, do you want to join hands with society and say that ‘you aren’t beautiful enough…’? Do you want to continue agreeing with the negative self-talk in your head that ‘when you get this or that’, then you will be happy?

You are dying from the inside. You aren’t living, you are merely existing.

Comparison, insecurity has you locked up, eating away at your heart and mind making you feel less than.

I don’t know about you, but I think it’s time you start living. You start loving life.

It’s time to Start Living!

It’s time you start enjoying yourself no matter what season you are in. It’s time you take responsibility for what is happening and take a step to be better. Stop blaming society [yes, they play a role but put them aside for now]. Stop blaming Instagram. Stop blaming her.

Take time out and sit with yourself. Begin to ask yourself the hard questions. Begin to reflect and think back to when you were 13, 14 years old; looking for the root cause of the issue. 

Don’t fight it.  I know and I know it’s hard. It’s uncomfortable. You don’t want to go there. But in order to heal and move on you must acknowledge the issue. You gotta find the root cause.

And no, you aren’t alone.

I’m here for you. You can’t see me, neither do you know me,but I pray and cry my heart out to God for you. And God’s with you. He’s got you. He’s holding you. Let it all go at his feet. Cry if you need to. Don’t hold anything back.

Let you heart release all that is inside so it can begin to beat again…

Don’t be afraid to let it go… God’s got you.

~Loads of LOVE, Renee.

If you have any queries, wanna offload, want someone to stand with you and pray for you, feel free to email me at hello@unscripted.co.ke.